Paradise Is A Place To Visit In A Delirium

How could I possibly relate on a comparable level such as the one you are constantly forced to endure? The answer to this is fairly ambiguous.. I DO and I DON'T understand...

But you don't trust your instinct gut feelings enough to even give me a shot.

How can I ever possibly convince you that the coincidental sum of chance occurrences that preceded our 'fake' friendship are genuine?

 Today I was walking outside and noticed a butterfly clinging to my sweater. Initially I assumed he was deceased but no! he was not. After crawling across my hand a few times, he fluttered away, back to the unknown in which he came.
So much happens in my life from day to day that when I reflect back, I am not quite positive that I've ever held true reign over the majority of events. One could say I live recklessly, because I do. It could also be said that I lack stability, and oddly enough, this free yet turmoiled existence has placated some of the frustration buried deep within me while propagating the roots of other discords in corners left unexplored.

The butterfly also told me that rare and unexplainable events DO take place, but we have to acknowledge their unique gift before they fly away, right back where they came from.

Late night, waiting by the phone
Tonight, waiting for an answer
Heartbeat drumming double time
I need one chance to be with you

Still hanging on, for a while
Can't operate, fired up
I won't eat and I won't sleep for you, yeah
No rest till I get through
'Coz I'm holding out, for you
Am I the only one who's insane?

Hey you're playing with my delirium
And the longer I wait the harder I'm gonna fall
Stop playing with my delirium
'Coz I'm outta my head and outta my self control

Still here, in this quiet room
Deep in delusion sending me over
Outside watch the world go by
Inside time stands still as I wonder

Still hanging on, for a while
Can't operate, fired up
I won't eat and I won't sleep for you, yeah
No rest till I get through
'Coz I'm holding out, for you
Am I the only one who's insane?

Hey you're playing with my delirium
And the longer I wait the harder I'm gonna fall
Stop playing with my delirium
'Coz I'm outta my head and outta my self control

(I won't eat and I won't sleep for you yeah)

Hey you're playing with my delirium
And the longer I wait the harder I'm gonna fall
Stop playing with my delirium
'Coz I'm outta my head and outta my self control

Ladyhawke - My Delirium

*This song describes how I feel lately*

...but I guess I am hopeful that I will soon let go to the entire possibility....and fly away, just like the butterfly, back to where I came from.